The Assassins of Ideas: No, But, & However
May 2, 2011
I was revisiting a great book “What Got You Here, Won’t Get You there” by Marshall Goldsmith this weekend, and saw how these three simple words can kill almost every initiative. I renamed them the “The Three Assassins of Ideas”. They are also three of the most used words in our personal and professional lives and every time we use any of them we hinder our possibilities of establishing a true open conversation. Our nature is to discard anything that doesn’t fit our belief or knowledge system; it’s hard wired into our brains since the dawn of mankind. We are simply scared of change and the unknown, especially in the corporate world.
Assassin # 1: However
This word is the most powerful of the three, when it’s inserted into the conversation the real message is “My point of view is better than yours”, and typically is done in front of an audience where the person can show their “superiority” of ideas.
Assassin # 2: But
No matter how good an idea is, we think we can make it even better by adding our personal touch with the typical: “Yes great idea, but if we also do/change/add/modify…” this kills the initiative of the originator, since it’s not his or hers idea anymore and the credit will be taken by the person who added the extra part.
Assassin # 3: No
To be fair, the word “No” if used wisely can also be a relationship builder, unfortunately is mostly used as a powerful deterrent to new/radical/opposite ideas. Some companies are very risk averse, and when people notice that all ideas are rejected, they simply stop proposing them. How many “Dr. No” exist in organizations killing many good ideas from the onset?
You might be asking by now, How can we stop these assassins? Well it theory is pretty easy. All you have to do is “Shut up and listen” and then just say “Thank You”; the person will feel that you cared to listen without judgment of the idea, and after careful consideration the you can tell that the organization can’t pursue it because X or Y reasons. In practice, very few organizations or people actually do this.
Every journey starts with the first step, yours will be to think before you use any of these three words.